lorryday goes on Safari

Being on holiday all week gave me a chance to spend some time with the family and some that time was spent looking at Lorry's , whoops !!

This truck was on duty at Woburn Safari park.




I didn't get very close to this truck so don't know much about whats written on the side but it stood out in a field full of Zebras and Rhino.

Dudley let me have both barrels

Dudley's barrels waiting for me.



An early start and straight into Dudley for 7.30.

I found the place really easily but I wished Id never bothered when I got there.

I always thought the people of Dudley would be a funny, friendly bunch , possibly because that's the image Lenny Henry projects of Dudlonians!

The ones I met this morning where neither funny or friendly , they were foul.

I pulled up at the gate of the factory and straight away I thought I must of drove through dog shit , the way the guard looked at me.

When I handed him my paperwork,he looked disappointedto find it all in order.

He grunted and jerked his head in the general direction of a city link trailer and I set off to find the goods in office, hoping for a better reception.
Well I didnt get it.

I stood at this makeshift desk, reading a list of rules as long as any ones arm and watching this woman on the opposite side of it, doing anything other than look up at me.

Eventually she lifted her head and gave me a withered look , but without her even speaking, that look asked me what I wanted, and told me she didn't actually care so just hurry up and go through the procedures as fast as you can.

I handed her my paperwork and then stood there. I had never been here before and I didn't know the procedures.

At every drop, there are different procedures, and they are never anything like the rules and regulations they always have posted up on the wall.

Because I stood there and didn't scuttle off into my lorry, she snarled the words "Go and wait in the cab until we need you" at me.

I went and waited, and when they wanted me, they opened a gate and pointed at where to put the lorry.

After the lorry was unloaded I went back inside to get my notes , big mistake!

She barked "Stay there" and pointed to a spot next to the truck and explained that I had only just been unloaded and the goods would now have to be counted and checked and only then would my notes would be signed and returned to me.

I have mentioned about biting my tongue on here before but I have to say this was becoming a feast.

I tried to cheer myself up by photographing this camper.
and this classic Merc.
I was driving past this motorcycle factory and I had never heard of Swift before.

It was a massive factory and had a Kawasaki shop on the end of it.




London was waiting for me when I got into my truck the next morning and it all seemed a bit stepford wives for some reason.

I was in early and had drops in all the posh places, and every where I looked there were women everywhere jogging and dads pushing buggies,talking on there mobiles.



I made delivery's at Westminster view apartments and at St Georges Cathedral on Westminster bridge Rd and every body looked like clones of each other , it was all very surreal.



I finally got out of London and found my way to my last drop, a tiny village in the wilds of nowhere and disaster struck.

Up until now I have been either very lucky or very careful with the trucks they have entrusted into my care but that luck eventually ran out.

It wasn't a drama or a high speed crash or anything serious , all I did was break a rear light but it still meant I had to phone up the bosses and tell Id broken their truck.

It was a little bit worse because it was on hire to us to get us through a busy period and was going straight back out after my 14 hours in it.

It happened when I drove through this ford on my way to the last drop of the day. I had rang for directions as advised on the notes so I knew it was the right way , 2nd house on the left after the ford the professor had said.



I know it doesn't look very bad but believe me , I was gutted I had damages to report , I was doing so well , 9 weeks without so much as a scratch and then a poxy ford and the rear light grounds out going through.

When the warning lights came on in the dash ton tell me I had a fault I thought I had got water in the lens , when I jumped out to look it was completely smashed.

When I got back to base they were fine about it and were fitting a replacement while they were loading the next job on for the other drivers run.

These guys could run a pit stop better than Maclaren.

I was a lot happier knowing that they didnt see it as a big deal

On call all week

Car of the day.





I was employed at this firm as a full time ,"Spare Driver" and so far I have had a vehicle to drive every day since I started in June.

There are two of us 'Spare' and usually we are both kept busy, but this week I have been on sickness cover.

I was told to keep my work phone with me and be ready if any one rang.

Monday morning at 5.30 I woken up with the phone ringing and asked to get in for 6 " A nice little run over to Cambridge "said the voice on the phone.

The truck was another 7.5 t ! I put my stuff in and found my notes Cambridge first, but then Hunstanton , then Norwich , then Attelborough and then back to Cambridge. No wonder the driver rang in sick.

In fact I think he was sick because he spent so long in this filthy truck. It smelt like rotten feet, I swear I moved my face to a certain position and I gagged. It was simply disgusting.

It didn't get any better all day.

It had grease and grime in every single crevice of the cab controls , they were all black with dirt and all the rubber areas around the steering wheel and gears had crumbs and fag ash and even worse , I saw nail clippings.

I was cursing the smelly sod all day.

I sprayed all the cheap aftershave I had been bought for Christmas in various parts of the cab but it made little difference.

Driving through the fens on the way to Hunstsanton.



This is where I was caught up in a sandstorm on the beach at Easter.


I drove right past where we stay.



Don't you just love the traffic in Norfolk.
Even at the sea side, a goods in, is just a goods in. This one was right on the sea front at Hunstanton.


I came to a cross roads and decided to keep going straight.



My Norwich drop makes fish tanks and my 8 pallets were going to the USA . They wern't ready so I had to sit around for a while while they picked the last few.

I watched this arrive at the factory opposite.


My Attelborough drop was right in country at a house called Hogweed House , he was trying to sell it, good luck with that !


This was the car of the day just for being exactly what is says on the tin.




I was out till 7.30 pm and after another break at Cambridge to put me 30 minutes into a ten hour drive I was overtook by this clown.

I was in a truck that easily cruised at 56- 57 MPH but this rushed past like the wind.



I was told to stay at home until called today , its 1. 30 pm now and still nothing so , hopefully thats a free pass for the day.

The Charge Of The Light Brigade

As I was driving along the A14 on the way to Norwich at 4 .30 am on Thursday I witnessed a brilliant sight.

I really wish I had of set my windscreen cam up but I don't usually do that until its daylight.

I saw two trucks on the opposite carriageway, coming towards me side by side, lit up in all their glory, battling it out for a few extra feet of tarmac , those few precious extra seconds up the road , for pride and for glory.

It was a truly awesome sight , far more entertaining than the meteorite shower we were all promised but most of us couldn't see because of cloud.

They looked just as impressive from the rear as I watched them disappear in my mirrors and I couldn't help thinking of a caption for my lost picture "The Charge of the light brigade".

I heard the wild life film maker, Simon King on the radio the other day talking about a photo he missed once and he was telling the presenter it was a relief in many ways because it gave him a chance to actually enjoy the moment for once, and not have to worry about framing anything or aperture or other technical practicalities.

I'm not suggesting that the brief, all be it beautiful, passing of two stubborn, blinged up trucks on the A14, compared in any way to the sight of an Orca whale mid leap in the pacific ocean, but I did feel a sense of freedom as I reveled in the moment, without the shackles of photography restricting and monopolizing my senses.

One of the trucks looked a little bit like this one!!


I was still musing over my lost opportunity but enhanced experience, when I came across more duelers, this went of for several miles and got pretty petty with some swerving thrown in to spice things up.





Most of my day was taken up just delivering and driving with not much time for writing so Ill post the pictures I took.


I love Beetles, but amazingly it still remains one of the few cars I have never driven , along with all Ferrari's and most Porches , all Bentley's and, well you get the idea. my dad says its probably why I still love them.

He used to import them from Holland in the 70's.

My favourite Beetle is the Jeans model , A bright orange 70's version with blue denim interior.

I found this in Norwich just after my first drop , I dont think its an original Jeans but it's definitly orange.

This house was really nice, the owner was very pleasant while he showed me where to find his gardener who would show me where he wanted his items placing.






Going through Ely I forgot all about the low bridge and then after I had doubled back I was stuck waiting for the freight train to pass here.

At my Ely drop I found a few old relics , after I got them to sign I took a picture of these two.






Friday was a drive down to Devizes with a load of crime books destined for the USA.

My next drop was here


I cant believe I drove past it but I did, three times!!

It was early though.

the revenge of the Nerds !

I was in London today or to be more precise Chiswick.

We deliver to a national chain of electrical retailers and to put it polite they are a fussy bunch.

Every branch has it's own particular delivery quirks.
Some shops you have to take the pallets to the door , some you have to take to a loading area, some go off the side of the truck on the street and one on London bridge goes under the shop , on the dock , up the lift in the ally and pushed up to the wall with a 6" gap between them.

This one in Chiswick was the first one to really piss me off . Most of the shop staff I have dealt with are really friendly and do their fair share of lifting and carrying.

The staff today in Chiswick were really annoying because they didn't take me on at all, they all arrived at the store at exactly 8 am , the contracted time and completely ignored the delivery truck parked directly out side the store.

I had to go in while all five of them stood around waiting for me to bring the pallets over the curb and outside the store. They are all electrical goods advisers and seem to have a very high opinion of themselves and acted as if they were above a lowly lorry driver.

Basically the geeks were having me up, and I was hating it.

I read somewhere the other day that if you have to wear a yellow vest to work , your in a crap job.
Seems about right .

Part of the contract conditions are that our office rings us and asks how delivery is gooing, are we on time ? are they on time ? any returns ? stuff like that.

My boss rang me and during the call he explained that because of the high curb in that particular loading bay, the shop staff were supposed to take the pallets off from the tailift.

Well I stood on the lift for a few minutes and they stood in the shop like a sort of face off. I went in and explained I was new and didn't know the procedure and what did they want me to do about the high curb.

They were all giggling like dicks and the leader of the nerds said that all pallets come to the come shop front.

That meant me trundling up the bus lane and over the pedestrian crossing ramp , through the bollards and up to the frontage on my own and with an Audience of Super Nerds looking like a cross between a trainspotting convention and the kids all picked last at football.

I wouldn't mind if they opened some lines of communication, but they didn't. They said nothing, no banter, no pleasentry's, nothing.

I have to take the empty pallets with me after they have done a count and these were sitting outside the shop. I was going to put them on when I noticed the geeks were mobilising again.

They were preparing the pallets for some returns, This meant I would have my other delivery's stranded on the headboard unless I pulled them all off and rearranged them.

If they had told me I had some returns I could of moved everything around while they were counting and got them to build the pallets on the truck and save us all some time.

I was already pretty pissed off by now and I had been outside this shop since 7 am, it was coming up to 10 am.

Then the geeks pulled a master "fuck you" stroke.

They rolled the shutter down on the front door while I was still shifting the pallets to make room for their returned Shit!. They hadn't signed my notes and they knew it.

I played it cool and just carried on locking up the truck and tucking the lift away, I waited a few minutes and leader Nerd came out to have a smoke and brought with him my signed notes.

I have a feeling that these delivery's are going to get me in trouble some day soon, there is only so much tongue biting you can do until you are full.

A more pleasant delivery was waiting for me up river right next to a masterpiece of design.

Not a lot more to say about today apart from these two fools dueling on the M1 on the way home , holding us all up. The Royal Mail lorry was riding commando ! ( no number plate) .


And I saw this really nice looking camper but only caught it from the back , the front revealed it to be a split screen.